What is the one unconventional piece of Stoic advice that has significantly improved your life?

I have been studying the philosophy of stoicism for a long time and the most unconventional thing I have come across so far is a life-changing and revolutionary quote from SENECA.

Life exists in moments and you should live every moment. This chain of moments is the very nature of life which is complete and whole not broken and incomplete.

And those dreams can not come true without our actions, efforts and consistency. We are afraid of making a mistake and we curse ourselves if do any.

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It shakes you to the core but makes you more stable afterward.

SENECA says: “Laugh on yourself”.

Yes, we consider ourselves significant. We get up every day and go out there to make the most out of life. We consider ourselves important because we act.

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You have made yourself hostile by not doing something wrong. You have enslaved yourself by aligning your happiness with your actions and results.

Why?

Because that’s not happiness and you will not always achieve results. You will not always get something out of your efforts.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

After years of practicing this strange piece of advice, I gradually realized that this quote was not unconventional and strange at all but at its core, it was the truest wisdom of stoics.

It makes us realize that it’s not always what we expect but still, we have to keep going without needing any external force or motivation because our inner voice tells us that neither this is our point to stop or get disappointed nor anything should be our stop.

I read 30+ books and 1000+ quotes on stoicism and the philosophies of pioneer Stoic philosophers. And the most unconventional quote by a stoic is this:

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what do you do in this situation? You curse yourself. You feel down and broke. You crush yourself with the burden of doing something wrong.

It completely changes you from head to toe.

I came back from the dead after reading this SENECA quote.

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It was so straight to the point and harsh that it seemed a completely new perspective but it was actually the greatest unconventional advice I ever listened to.

My outlook on the very nature of life and myself completely changed and everything seemed to change a lot.

You only observe a broken part but don't understand its significance in the long chain of life.

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It drives you to a dark abyss where you comprehend its meaning through your own experiences and then come back to the light on your own.

You not only read such a quote but live it. You never forget it. It becomes part of your everyday life.

What is that quote?

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Just get up and get something done because no matter what, you should not stop your virtuous actions which are a conviction of a well-lived life.

It challenges your existing beliefs and outlook on life.

This quote completely changes our perspective, it challenges our existing beliefs that you will always get what you strive for, it completely makes us hopeless by pinpointing the straight truth but slowly makes us someone who may not need help in difficult times.

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But first, how to judge a revolutionary, unconventional and life-changing quote:

We align our happiness and satisfaction with our actions and their results. We feel proud of ourselves for putting in effort to be happy every day, each day.

During my study of stoicism which is a philosophy of action, romanticizing suffering and virtuous wisdom. Wisdom which truly helps us to live with conviction and action without giving much importance to our suffering.

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But instead of commending, feeling proud and happy, SENECA suggests that we should laugh.

It may look simple to you but let’s break it down.

It was such an unconventional and strange advice that I kept thinking about it for days. It completely shredded the skin of my thinking and gave rebirth to my thoughts.

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We pursue our dreams because we want to become more fulfilled and happy. We want to become happy because we think that after doing so much toil we deserve to be happy.

It completely changes your perspective about yourself and frees you from a huge burden you are carrying on your shoulders every day without any reason.

Step back. Draw back. Stop right there and free yourself of this burden.

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We act to derive results. We want results to be driven because we want to become better in every portion of life. We want to become better because we have dreams.

But you feel all of this because you consider yourself a significant being. You think of yourself as someone who did all and still got nothing.

“We often believe that we are so significant that everything has to go our way and according to our thinking. What SENECA suggests is “Draw back further and laugh”.

You will not always get what you want. Sometimes, things get out of our control. You may not get your desired thing even by giving in all the world you have.

And the quote of SENECA checks all the boxes and leaves us in astonishment.

And most important of all, the more we live this quote by applying it to practical life through our experiences, the more we understand its depth and how helpful it is.

You regret doing this and doing that. You don't feel gratitude toward life and you see the very nature of life as crushing instead of fulfilling and satisfactory.

It makes you more satisfied and fulfilled.

Well, drawback and laugh because that is not the truth. The truth is that not everything will go your way and you don't have to worry about it.

We have to keep moving while laughing at ourselves because we are not that much significant.

During my theology study, I read hundreds of books from ancient to modern religions and their philosophies and outlook on life.

It gives meaning to your actions. Don’t underestimate this one. Giving meaning means it drives you so crazy that you keep on doing your actions without focusing on results, failures and even success.

LOVE.

The complete quote goes like this:

When we keep looking, things gradually open themselves to us and we are born again after every new discovery or even after reading a life-changing quote or a book.

You may sometimes give up on your dreams because that is just not meant to happen.